Social media sites are addicting. These sites allow us to peer into the lives of our friends without getting too involved. (Although sometimes it is like watching a soap opera and we begin to feel like we are part of our friends lives, without actually being part of their lives.) But the nature of social sites is to create conversation. So the problem with social media voyeurism is that we are expected to share back. We create community when we share. We learn about each other and keep in touch in ways that were never feasible in the past. I love to learn new and interesting things from my friends. I love to see how they spent the weekend or what their dog is doing. Social media expands my small university into a giant one and is usually a complete joy. I share a lot online: if I want you to know what I am doing, you will know - through Twitter, Facebook or Tumblr. And maybe a little Flickr, Posterous and Loopt every now and then. Do I share too much? I don’t know, maybe sometimes I do.
Social media can also be a burden; and this week I am feeling overwhelmed by my social media connectivity. Yes, I preach about the value connectivity and social media. Yes, my phones are practically connected to me and my computer is within reach 18 hours a day, on average. While I keep up with messages, I don’t always respond immediately, or at all. The reasons for this inaction vary. Sometimes I don’t feel like talking. Sometimes I don’t have anything to say. And, yes, sometimes I am with real people and feel like it might be rude to be glued to my device in their physical presence.
Then there are those times when you just want to unplug. It is hard to have “alone time” with the influx of social media. When I need “alone time,” social media becomes a burden. If you send me a text, email or chat conversation and I don’t respond, then just let it go and give me some space. If I haven’t posted in a while, then maybe I am feeling overexposed. Don’t attempt to make me feel guilty about my silence. Being quiet says a lot.
Frustrated with Facebook a few nights ago, I de-friended some people. I cleaned house. I assumed that no one would notice. And I got caught. Lesson learned: if you are active in the social media world and you live in a relatively small market, then your absence won’t go unnoticed. I am now sheepishly re-friending. Please consider this my apology to all my de-friended friends. I will not blame you for not accepting me back now.
This experience has me thinking about privacy versus sharing in this age when social media participation has become expected and the societal norm. Are we sharing too much? Are we at a point where we expect people to share everything? Is it weird that I find myself thinking of my daily activities in 140 character updates throughout the day (”Ms. Adverthinker is frustrated by stiff shoes that rub blisters; Band-Aid Blister Block helps though.” “Ms Adverthinker is disappointed iPhone died, but excited about pretty pink cover avail for new one. Damn accessories get me every time.”)? I ask these questions when I find myself uncontrollably sucked into Facebook.
The risk we take in exposing ourselves in the online world is that we actually expose ourselves. It seems so simple to type a few words and click a few buttons. But the impact of these small actions can be large. We are sharing our lives with the world. The world. Admittedly, in a market like Arkansas the world might be a little smaller: everyone who is online knows each other, even if they have never met. We are all friends without actually being friends. And I feel like I know everything about their lives.
Although I might not want to know everything about their lives, I just can’t help but read, watch and dig a little deeper. It is human nature to be voyeuristic and social media allows us to feed this desire. But it is easy to get caught up and overwhelmed by other people’s lives: What does the cryptic status update mean? Who is that person in this picture? Why are they sad? Why are they happy? Who are they talking about? Who are they quoting? What does it all mean?! So I started thinking that I didn’t need to know everything about all of my friends.
Because I have very little self control and can’t quit Facebook cold turkey, I decided to taper cessation of the habit by cleaning the friend house. Maybe I overreacted. Or maybe I didn’t take it far enough; I left the door open by not canceling my account (much like cutting up your credit card when you have the number memorized: it doesn’t stop you from spending).
As an active resident of this new social media world, I should have known better than to think a person can do anything online and have it go unnoticed.
The Wall Street Journal is going social, as reported by Brandweek:
“Using SeenThis?, built by the social networking technology developer Loomia, members of Facebook, and eventually various other social networks will be able to receive notifications on what Journal content their friends are reading or sharing – while logged into those sites or visiting WSJ.com. Those users will then be able to check out those articles themselves for free (without having to leave their networking site of choice), and share them with others. For example, a user might receive a notice of the top five articles read by members who attend his or her college.”
