It has been six weeks since our wedding. I have had time to relax, reflect and review all the photos. Through my eyes, every detail was perfect. I know that not everything was truly perfect, but I did not notice.
What I Wish I Had Done
- Started planning earlier. I thought the wedding would be simple. I didn’t want a lot of pomp and circumstance; I wanted a casual and fun atmosphere. I achieved the atmosphere, but it turns out that no wedding is simple. I wish I had accepted this as fact earlier and started working on the details sooner.
- Taken the vendor recommendations. The people I hired are the best at what they do. I loved them all and would hire them again in a second. For the most part, I took their advice for the way things should be executed. My photographer said a sparkler departure makes for great pictures; we did that and she was right! The floral designer thought of all the things that I would have never thought: boutonnieres, a small bouquet for Matthew’s daughter, backdrops for the ceremony and a beautiful petal runner to walk and stand on for the ceremony. One recommendation I didn’t take was from the restaurant. They recommended waitstaff-passed food on small trays. Instead, I wanted the food on buffet tables. The food was hand-prepared and delightful, but the buffet tables were pretty much noticeably empty throughout the entire reception. They knew what would be best for their chef and their venue. I should have listened.
- Put a tiny bit of structure into the day-of plans. I wanted the day to be relaxing and free-form. And it was both of those things. But it seemed that I had nothing to do and everyone else was busy doing their own thing. So the day started out a bit lonely. Activity and visitors picked up in the afternoon and I had a great time with out-of-town friends who hung out in pajamas with me all day. But specific events — in-room manicure/pedicure, organized snacks and beverages, formal invitations — would have made the day a little easier without overbooking myself.
- Gotten a few posed pictures with my friends. The photography is wonderful. There are great candid shots of dancing, posed shots with family, shots that capture the emotion of the ceremony and shots that capture the absolute joy we had at the reception. I didn’t have bridesmaids, but I consider all my girlfriends that were there to have been honorary bridesmaids and wish that I had gotten some organized photos with all of them.
- Hired a day-of assistant/coordinator. I didn’t hire a wedding planner, but I wish that I had hired someone whose job it was to see to the details of the day. Family members were tied up and were not able to help as much as they thought they would. Same thing for friends. Each vendor partner was on their own to manage what they needed to do without knowing exactly how it fit in to the big picture. A point person in charge for the evening (and to make sure I didn’t forget any of the traditions!) would have been fantastic.
What I Am So Glad I Did
- Hired vendors I liked. The temptation to do everything “on the cheap” was definitely present. But doing that may have meant that I hired a team that I didn’t LOVE and just settled with due to budget. My budget was still limited, but I was able to work with a team that I really admired and make some compromises on budget. They didn’t feel as distant as the word “vendor” implies; I felt like they were my partners and team for this event.
- Finished my “checklist” on Thursday. Starting on Friday, I did not have anything left on my to-do list. I was just enjoying the days and moments and showing up where I needed to, when I needed to. As a result, I didn’t get frustrated or stressed. I officially decided not to worry about any of the details and to just say “it is what it is” at that point forward. And I smiled all day and into the night.
- Booked a hotel room for the weekend. Matthew and I were already living together before the wedding and we got married in town. It would have been less expensive to get ready at home and stay at home. But it made the weekend more relaxing and special to be away from the chaos of the house where it would be easy to get distracted by home-stuff.
- Let loose and danced. I am a terrible dancer. I know this. And I have always kept myself from dancing around others for fear of embarrassment (plenty of home dance parties though!). But I wanted to dance at my wedding. The one day when not only would I be dancing around others, but I would likely be the center of attention. So I did. I danced a lot. I know I looked silly and I got sweaty, but I had so much fun.